Bieber Towels

I think if I were Justin Beiber, I'd want to get a corporate sponsorship from a company that sells ear plugs. Not just the ones that plug your ears. The ones that cancel out all the noise you're hearing and fill you heart with happiness and joy. Every time I see footage of Biebes--as I like to call him--there is a crowd of braces-laden pre-jr. high and jr. high girls mobbing him with squeals + screams + all kinds of horrible neon posterboard 'I LOVE YOU' signs.

Seriously? Stop screaming! Stop squealing---and go buy his towels like we did so you can just pretend to be him all the time!